im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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