But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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