my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
