i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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