Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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