we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
