i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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