He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
