It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
