I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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