Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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