So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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