I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
