Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
