Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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