i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm passing your future prison.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
