we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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