i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
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TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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