are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You're earring is so big in my mouth
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So much rum. So many feels.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
