Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
