Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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