"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want nice things and good sex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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