party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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