i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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