i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
