I just saw a hot homeless man
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
