my mouth tastes like poor choices
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
