I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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