Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
