the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
