We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
