So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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