I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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