i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
