its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
