U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
