she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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