Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
me + whiskey = a bad person
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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