I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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