Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
