who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
