Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
