no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
