he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
