Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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