you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
