He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
