dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The uberlube is also flammable
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
