So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
