you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize