So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You made out with two different species that night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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