is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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