i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
