oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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