i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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