How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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