Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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