well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
