standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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