the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
