Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
